I love drugs, I love being high, I hate every waking minute of sobriety so I'm even ready to abuse fucking Seroquel(Quetiapine) just to not be here. I mean the HEAVY sh I sometimes do to myself and the short term consequences are a good high too, but long term? Ig being 25 and having a somewhat developed frontal cortex makes you think about the longterm consequences, so I kinda avoid doing this. I studiered pharmacy and tried out pretty much every drug out there, besides the sketchy stuff that maybe 3 people in total tried or datura. I used to be obsessed with psychedelics but not anymore. Why? Well as Alan Watts said: "If you get the message, hang up the phone." There is no value for me in doing them, since they got me all the messages I could get. Now do I always listen to the advice? Hell no, that is another reason not to do them for me. I'll wait for the right time. But if I could talk about one compound for hours and never shut up about my experience, it's DMT (in combination with a MAOI) My favourite drug family are still opiates though, especially the ones that let you be productive, like Oxycodone. I also stopped using any stimulants at all, because I had to accept what they did to my mental health, no matter how much I love them. Attention and validation is one hell of a drug as well, but I suppose only fellow borderlines will truly understand.